Coming Home

I distinctly remember flying into anchorage and being overcome by a feeling of “Wow, I’m home.” The feeling took me by surprise, especially since, at the time, Alaska was my nemesis. I was in grad school and Matt and I were going through a rough patch - I big rough patch actually – and I was flying in to see him. We were living two separate lives, with him pursuing his love of all things wild and outdoorsy while I was in the big city engrossed in school. We were both happy and excited about what we were working towards, but they were individual pursuits that came at the expense of our marriage. I saw Alaska as “the other woman” and wanted, very badly, to hate it. But there I was, looking out that airplane window and loving everything I was seeing.

Matt and I worked through those hard times and, thankfully, came out of it stronger than ever. We were both changed, however, and Alaska was still very much part of our lives. My love/hate relationship with Alaska continued as Matt and I attempted to navigate living in two states. We loved many things about California but there was something about Alaska that called to us, and we continued trying to make the dual-state life work. When Riley came along, we continued to ask ourselves if Alaska was worth all the trouble and the answer was a subtle “yes.” Of course, we considered Alaska full-time, but I was always adamant about maintaining our California residency. I was not ready to let go of a life that was, and is, safe and familiar - an anchor of sorts.

Well it seems that the anchor has lifted and Matt and I are embarking on an experimental adventure. After MUCH consideration, we have decided to move our lil’ family up to the great white North and give Alaska our all. I say experimental because we’ve never been up there during the winter months and who knows how we’ll like it. The well-known dark and cold might be too much for us Golden State sun-lovers and then we’ll call Alaska quits. But you never know until you try, and so try we must. The lure of wild and raw is too strong to ignore and we’d hate to have regrets down the line.

Our house was officially sold yesterday and, although it was sad to say goodbye to it, the memories made there will stay with us thanks to my trusty camera. We certainly had some ______(fill in the blank) times there over the past 11 years! But in the end, it was just a house filled with stuff, and the “home” I felt I was giving up surrounds me as I type this… the squeals of toddler laughter; the hungry cries of a healthy infant; the love, respect, and adoration I share with my best friend and husband.

We know that Alaska is a far-away place that many of our friends and family may not see, but our hope is that some of you may be lured up for a visit. I must warn you though, Alaska has a tendency to grab on to unsuspecting individuals and steal their heart away.

"Where thou art, thou is home" ~ Emily Dickinson